This afternoon we had our initial meeting with השירות למען הילד. We went to their offices in Jerusalem and met with a woman named Meital.
She asked us to introduce ourselves - our names, ages, and what we do. She wrote down everything we said. Then she asked us why we want to adopt and she wrote down our answers to this too. I said that adopting has always been a dream of mine, and I feel I have a warm and loving home to offer to a child who needs one. Ophir said that he wants to change the world and as an introvert, he doesn't feel really capable of going out into the world and making a big change so the way he feels he can change the world is in his own home.
She also asked us what kind of child we are looking for. I said that ideally I'd like a baby but I know that the chances of getting a baby are slim. But that I've heard that it works best if the child you adopt is younger than your youngest child - in terms of him/her integrating into the family - and that right now our youngest is 7 so under 7 would be best.
Meital then told us what they are looking for in adoptive parents.
One of the first things she said was that they need to have an absolutely clean ("חלק") bill of health, both physically and psychologically.
Neither Ophir nor I have a clean bill of health.
We reviewed our histories with MEital and she told us that there was no point continuing with the process because we would ultimately be rejected. She said these kids have so much in their backgrounds already that it is not fair to put them with adoptive parents who are not 100% healthy and who might for any reason have issues taking care of them at any point in the future.
But I took it in stride.
I had wanted a sign about whether this was something our family should take on or not. And this was a sign, as clear as day, that G-d does not want us continuing on this journey.
That does not mean, however, that I am done, or that I will give up so easily.
Meital suggested we look into fostering and see if they have the same rules.
This is not the end of the road for us. We will try to foster. Fostering might even be a better option for us, because as Meital said, it is pretty much impossible for us to adopt a baby because we already have kids and babies are reserved for couples who have no kids. If we foster, there is a chance of getting a baby.
If fostering is not an option for us either, we will find another way to change the world.
Here I go, crying again.